Knitty Gritty Down 'n' Dirty

just a note, I know there's a bunch of deleted comments, but it's a filter system, and I've deleted anything that has a link in it from someone I do not recognize. Sorry about that, but I really don't want spam in the comments, I just opened it up so ppl who don't have blogger can still post a comment. Of course comments are greatly appreciated even from strangers, if you are a fellow blogger, leave ur username and I'll be sure to look you up, but links are no-no... and if u clicked on my ads, lemme kno, i'll look u up and click on urs, lol! anyways, thank you all for your understanding =)

So I finally got the DHT album (David dled for me, thanks babe) and although I found out they're a Euro dance band (yeah, i kno run away now =P) some of their songs are good... other than the well known "Listen to Your Heart", another couple songs stood out, Like "Someone".....

You can't eat, you can't sleep, you can weep
When you love someone

Feels extreme when you dream and you scream
When you love someone

If you feel that strong
Can you see that one

[Chorus]
Let me be your
Someone to hold you tight
Someone to make you feel alright
Everyday and night
I wish I was your someone
Someone to hold you when you're weak
Someone to make you feel complete
Everyday and night
I wish I was your someone

Don't you know I will go
If you show that I can break through

It feels extreme when you dream and you scream
When you love someone

If you feel that strong
Can you see you're the one

[Chorus]

And I hold you tight
Still on my mind
I can't stand to live without you
And I can't forget you
where ever you are
Still on my mind

[Chorus]

Someone to hold you tight
Someone to make you feel alright
Everday and night
I wish I was your someone

Cindy is one of the silliest monkeys I kno... u gotta read her lastest post... check it out
I like kiwi's too, but these are incredile! =P

So you may have noticed the new google ad up above... I'm not tryin to sell out, but as a student, funds are running low... so if u can help out a starving college student, please click on the ad, u can close it rite afterwards if u want,... but yeah, help feed me LOL! well, more for loans and bills, etc. anyways, if you have the time =P just a thought...

Ever have that gross feeling from the bottom of your heart to the knots in your stomach that make you think... something just aint rite? But you can't figure out wat it is, but you know somethings wrong...
How much longer do I have to endure this... it's been too long... I just want to be free... when will this be over... Why am I not through with this? Why can't I just give up? I'm soooo tired of this! I don't kno how much more of this I can take....
How do you know if the fight's worth fighting for? I don't know if anything's worth anything anymore... *sigh* but I have to be strong... already gotten this far rite?
I hate being married to school....

So I had poured my heart out in one of the longest entries i've ever done, thought-provoking, retrospective, insightful... and when I clicked on "publish post", blogger goes down for maintenance... nothing I could do would bring it back, yes I tried going back, and forward and back again, but no, it was gone... bullet to the heart I tell ya, bullet to the heart...

So now blogger's back up and working again, and there's no way I could possibly reproduce the epiphany I had before, so... in bits and pieces that I can remember...
1.) Ultimately, the decisions you make not only affect yourself, but everyone one of those around you.
2.) Life is at least 75% struggle, and most people would be lucky to say that they are even happy ~25% of the time.
3.) The obstacles you overcome will make you that much more experienced and stronger.
4.) Corny as it sounds, soul-searching isn't for dummies. Take a moment to look at what things really mean to you, or you'll lose sight of people who are important to you... which leads to...
5.) It is vital to remember what you had to start with, those who were there at the very beginning, and those that stayed til the very end.

That's all I could revive from my random thoughts earlier...

On to a brighter side, a few highlights from this week...
I got to be an extra in a upcoming Will Smith movie, called The Pursuit of Happiness. Aside from being 2 feet away from Will on a bus scene =D I also got seranaded by a guy who happen to have his guitar with him on the set. Since I was too scared to actually talk to Mr. Smith, having a song sung to you with the strummings of a guitar by a random stranger can really make ur day...
During lab today, I was complaining to my classmates that we were missing the season premiere of Smallville at that very moment... the girl sitting across from me confirmed my disappointment, then said that I look a bit like Kristen Kruek! I was a bit startled and made sure I heard correctly. Indeed I did, and I told her that was very flattering... esp. since someone said a long time ago that I looked nothing like her... but anyways, it was a sweet thing for her to say...
I have begun to count on the kindness of strangers during hard times... it reaffirms my theory that you should smile at everyone you meet, or even walk by, because your kindness could make that person's day...

Alrite, so as you can see, I changed the template, but most things remain the same. I just wanted to get a comments part functional, cuz the old template just wouldn't carry out comments. Also, I dunno how many ppl actually read me anyways, so I figured, maybe having a comments link under each post will be more inviting than a tag board, which I don't want to fuss with puttin up here rite now. So bear with the changes as I tweak this template a bit, yes i kno, the random number game is still in halloween colors... like i said, bear with me =P

"Listen To Your Heart"
by DHT

I know there's something in the wake of your smile.
I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yea.
You've built a love but that love falls apart.
Your little piece of heaven turns too dark.

Listen to your heart
when he's calling for you.
Listen to your heart
there's nothing else you can do.
I don't know where you're going
and I don't know why,
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye.

Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile.
The precious moments are all lost in the tide, yea.
They're swept away and nothing is what is seems,
the feeling of belonging to your dreams.

Listen to your heart
when he's calling for you.
Listen to your heart
there's nothing else you can do.
I don't know where you're going
and I don't know why,
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye.

And there are voices
that want to be heard.
So much to mention
but you can't find the words.
The scent of magic,
the beauty that's been
when love was wilder than the wind.

Listen to your heart
when he's calling for you.
Listen to your heart
there's nothing else you can do.
I don't know where you're going
and I don't know why,
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye.

"These Words"
by Natasha Bedingfield

These words are my own
Threw some chords together
The combination D-E-F
Is who I am, is what I do
And I was gonna lay it down for you
Try to focus my attention
But I feel so A-D-D
I need some help, some inspiration
(But it's not coming easily)
Whoah oh...

Trying to find the magic
Trying to write a classic
Don't you know, don't you know, don't you know?
Waste-bin full of paper
Clever rhymes, see you later

These words are my own
From my heart flow
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you
There's no other way
To better say
I love you, I love you...

Read some Byron, Shelly and Keats
Recited it over a Hip-Hop beat
I'm having trouble saying what I mean
With dead poets and drum machines
I know I had some studio time booked
But I couldn't find a killer hook
Now you've gone and raised the bar right up
Nothing I write is ever good enough

These words are my own
From my heart flow
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you
There's no other way
To better say
I love you, I love you...
I'm getting off my stage
The curtains pull away
No hyperbole to hide behind
My naked soul exposes
Whoah.. oh.. oh.. oh.. Whoah.. oh..

Trying to find the magic
Trying to write a classic
Waste-bin full of paper
Clever rhymes, see you later
These words are my own
From my heart flow
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you
That's all I got to say,
Can't think of a better way,
And that's all I've got to say,
I love you, is that okay?

After over a week of sickness, a costly vet visit and sleepless worrisome nights, Juilet passed away this morning, lying next to me as I tried to keep her warm... I had optimistically hoped that she would fight it and stay with me, and I think she tried as much as she could... but I guess she was just too sick... I feel like I worked so hard to keep her here, but in the end she just couldn't hold on... I'm sorry Juliet, I hope you are in peace...

....................................

Obituaries


Sept. 17, 2005: Juliet passed away of prolonged wet tail and possible kidney failure at 10:00 in the morning. Juliet, a white and light orange Syrian hamster, was 1 year and 3 months of age. She traveled a bit from San Francisco to Santa Cruz then back with her college student chauffeur, Sophia. Her most recent residence was in Mountain View, Ca. with her chauffeur and her enthusiastic co-inhabitant, David. Although she did not like car trips much, she did enjoyed exploring new surroundings. Her favorite past times included running in her large revolution wheel/home extension, perfecting her skills as an escape artist, racing her chauffeur down hallways, and nice long naps in between. She is remembered as a playful yet sleepy hamster, but very gentle and sweet by her co-occupants and all who knew her. She will be missed dearly and indefinitely. May her spirit be in peace.

Me after i walked across the stage and got the "fake diploma" =P 

While searching for employment, pondering my future and trying to finalize a goal... I realize I'm totally lost... yes, I walked this past June, but no, I'm not done yet, and I much as I want to finish by the end of this year, I'm not sure I will... hope/wish/pray that I can get into this ONE class, just this one class... =/ and as I read my friend's xanga, I realize, people's heart's get broken everyday, not just through relationships, but through broken dreams and failure, lost hope and faith, just through life in general... yet we still live each day, hoping, wishing, praying, for love, our dreams, success, our goals... maybe I'm just rambling, or maybe I'm just realizing something... now if I could only figure out wat....

David and I at graduation, yes, blurry i kno, u can blame Linda, =P  

it's been forever! i'm sure i lost wat audience i had lingering around.. well, guess i'm talking to myself rite now =P hopefully someone will come back and read me =/
anyways, I've finally got to work on a new project, it's almost done, but to give u an idea of wat it looks like, check out Margaret Nicole
aren't those bags cute? well yeah, i'm tryin to make something like them =)
pics to follow...

this year's spring break is probably one of the shortest we've had in ages... it's already half way over and I haven't done much of anything productive.... so much for spewing out a few projects before I get back to school... speaking of which, graduation stuff came in the mail yesterday and jeeeebus are things expensive! So our grad for Oakes is gonna be on Sat. June 11th at 6pm, yes i kno, late but Oakes graduation has the nicest view of the sunset =P I just wish I would be done when i walk... but looks like i'll have to take summer school b4 i'm done... *sigh* i'm such a slacker, i kno, but i try tho, i really do... just ask David... well, maybe not, he'd just tell u how lazy i am, lol! =P but yeah, not much going on these days, yet this break seems to fly rite by... oh! took Erica and her friend Emily to watch Robots yesterday, it's pretty funny! Robin Williams' still got it!
okie dokie, until next time cuz i'm gettin hungry =P

So Cindy gotta call from Chung Ngai (our old dance troupe place) and they ask her if she could help wit the Chinese New Year's parade, she agrees, and drags me along wit her... I figured it shouldn't be too bad, we're usually on a float... well we go to the pratice this past Sun. and find, not only are we NOT gonna be on a float.. but we're doin a dance... SERIOUSLY, the things I get myself into! So ladies and gentlemen, if u wanna good laugh, cuz apparently David thinks the dance is hilarious, check out the parade this coming Sat. the 19th, it starts at 5:30pm i think, we'll be about the first performance, something about monkey's fighting chickens... yeah... look in the background for some girls in pink costumes dancing around wit a fan and a handkerchief...

On another note, Carbon's throwin a party that same night, so if you're goin down to see the parade, stay around and party at Sake Lab afterwards! Go Here and sign up for the guestlist!

Time to update this baby that is... I know, it's been hella long since i've posted anything... school's been a pain, and i just got over the first wave of midterms.... *whew*
So,... oh! everyone should go watch Hitch when it comes out Feb. 11th, it's hella funny! and like David said, Will Smith is sexy... especially in this movie! lol! Guys could sure pick up a few tricks from this flick...
as for projects, i'm still workin on this tube scarf thingie... it's coming along nicely, should be done soon so hopefully u can be expectin pics of it in a bit...
that's about it for now, i'm too lazy to post more, lol! pics will come soon, so please hold ur horses...

I've been kinda at a loss for words lately... so figured i'd just start postin up random pics.. Startin wit this one, cuz I told him i would, hahahahah! This is Benny, Cindy's bf btw, so Cindy was over my house (in sf, like my messy ass room? that's just 1/4 of it) and we were just chattin in my room, Benny came over too, and got bored as us girls were talking... so he decided to amuse himself with watever he could find in my room... and thus, once he was finished "collecting", I had to grab my camera to get a pic, cuz Cindy kept squealin for me to, lol! So, here he is, with my famous kitty hat on, my messager bag, some scarf he found (i dun even think it's mine...) my hot pink studded belt, and huggin the spongebob pillow that erica dumped in my room... Hope this makes someone's nite, I kno it made ours ^_^

So school's officially begun... again... I've just been off avoiding it... just the whole subject of school can be really depressing... man!
ok ok, so I gotta face reality some time rite?
okie, so 8am class 2moro, yet i'm still up, i kno, me and 8am classes just don't sound rite, but when it's bio classes, u don't really get a choice... but anyways, just thought i'd update for once since it's been awhile, gotta keep wat little audience I have entertained =P
so yeah, it seems to be raining less back in SC... seems to be anyways.. only been back for a day, lol! it's super scary to drive down 17 while it's raining... u should try it some time! hahahaha =P
anyways, i should knock out now, goodnite world!

ok, so much for updating on a regular basis..... but yeah... I'm running behind on christmas presents production and still need to get stuff for the christmas "gathering" that I volunteered to run this year at our house (becuz my mum thought it would be too much trouble, so i said i'd do it this year... me and my big mouth...) so yeah, if u've gots nuthin to do on christmas day, come by, say hi, eat some food and hang out while watchin me run around like a mad woman... well.. hopefully not so much of the last part... but anyways, hope everyone's having a great holiday season!
side note: hopefully after i'm done with the presents i can take some snapshots of them to post b4 they go off to their new owners =P