Bi-annual update

it's not really bi-annual, but it seems to have been that long since i've updated...
So working at the clinic has been nothing but interesting, the things I learn everyday, it really sparks the curiousity, the passion of why I had wanted to major in biology in the first place. It gives me such a new perspective of the gyneocology field and I begin to realize more and more, that this is what I really want to do. Of course it's gotten pretty darn hectic, with barely a min. to breathe, but when the phones stop ringing and no more patients are to be seen, i do get restless... but when that phone rings, the words just roll rite outta my tongue now... "Good Morning, Dr. Hamilton and Levine's Office, this is Sophia, How may I help you?"... working at a doctor's office has never been more exciting!
i kno, i'm a dork...

on a not so brighter note...
it's sad to feel pathetic, and it's pathetic to be so sad... oh gawd, give me the strength i need... I won't go back on my word... so gawd help me... and him...

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS
Read Comments

another year...

and so it goes, another year older, another year wiser... or so they say... tho sometimes I feel like I'm losing my mind... I can blame it on school, I can blame it on life, but in the end, it's all on me... so, I gotta get it together...


short term goals:

  • Finish these goddam classes and be DONE by the end of this month
  • Get a full time job... work my ass off, help wit rent, pay bills, etc.
  • Gain experience to help focus on a career
  • Save up for a new winter coat (hey, a girl's gotta stay warm ;)

Long term goals:

  • Save up money to pay parents back for Carlos
  • Pay off those darn student loans
  • Save up for future expeditions...

of course there will be more along the way, but these are the important ones for now... this year's been extra long, with its ups and downs... so here's to a brighter year =P

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS
Read Comments

to be thankful

With all the commotion about food and feasting like there's no tomorrow, it's easy to forget what you had learned as a kid, what thanksgiving is actually for, why we spend it with our families and friends... and as I think back to grade school, making turkey cut-outs from the outlines of our hands, imagining the cornicopia of food that might have been on the table of the pilgrims and native americans and drawing them out, then the assignment where we write a few sentences about what we are thankful for... most kids say they are thankful for their family, or for the food, and I even remember one kid saying he was thankful for having a newborn baby brother...
This year, I am thankful for those who have been there for me when times were rough, those who listened to me b*!ch, cry, and complain, thank you for listening, i wouldn't have made it through the nite otherwise... and especially to my girls, I heart you all =P Have a great thanksgiving everyone, try not to knock out rite away *wink wink*

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS
Read Comments

Crossroads...

No, I'm not talkin about that britney movie. i'm talkin about the metaphor. Even though you'd like to think that you could go down a path forever, even if it gets bumpy now and then, sooner or later you'll hit a crossroad, and that fork in the road signifies your time to choose. What the roads appear to lead to can be deceiving, so yes, you have no idea what lies ahead in either direction, even if you have a feeling of whether you would be more or less content with going down one over the other. Many have suggested one way, and even though it would make things easier, it doesn't feel rite... but it has gotten dark and cold... and you've grown weary, so weary that you start to doubt you can go on with such conditions, and you can't stand there forever... the easier path starts to look like the best option, but you kno once you choose you can't go back... you start to feel helpless, there isn't much else you can do... you cry out for guidiance but all there is to say has already been said... no one else can make this decision for you... so all you can do is collect yourself and hope/wish/pray that you choose the rite path... to be continued...

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS
Read Comments

Drained

is it possible to be tired in every single way imaginable? to be emotionally, physically and mentally drained? to be so exhausted you just wanna cry? to just give up after fighting so hard for wat you believe in... to just wave ur white flag, grab ur tail between ur legs and run home to ur mama?
Well, I'd say I'm pretty damn close to it... it's hard to be strong when you don't even have the energy to lift ur own spirit... but then I think to myself, there you are, complaining about your own miserable little life, when millions of people are dying all over the world, of war, hunger, disease... so yeah, my life is nothing compared to those that have to suffer so much worse... but still i b*!ch, cuz that's wat humans do...

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS
Read Comments

Something new....

So this song's been stuck in my head for the past few days, and i've been goin crazy trying to remember who the heck sings it, but yes, finally, I've figured it out, and wat better time to try something new... so I thought that not only should i post up the song file, but the lyrics too! and so here it is, "Follow Through" by Gavin DeGraw


Oh, this is the start of something good
Don't you agree?
I haven't felt like this in so many moons
You know what I mean?
And we can build through this destruction
As we are standing on our feet
So, since you want to be with me
You'll have to follow through
With every word you say
And I, all I really want is you
You to stick around
I'll see you everyday
But you have to follow through
You have to follow through
These reeling emotions they just keep me alive
They keep me in tune
Oh, look what I'm holding here in my fire
This is for you
Am I too obvious to preach it?
You're so hypnotic on my heart
So, since you want to be with me
You'll have to follow through
With every word you say
And I, all I really want is you
You to stick around
I'll see you everyday
But you have to follow through
You have to follow through
The words you say to me are unlike anything
That's ever been said
And what you do to me is unlike anything
That's ever been
Am I too obvious to preach it?
You're so hypnotic on my heart
So, since you want to be with me
You'll have to follow through
With every word you say
And I, all I really want is you
(For) you to stick around
I'll see you everyday
But you'll have to follow through
With every word you say
An I, all I really want is you (For) you to stick around
I'll see everyday
But you have to follow through
You have to follow through
You're gonna have to follow
Oh, this is the start of something good
Don't you agree?

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS
Read Comments

Music?

So I finally got some music hosting, =P but i figure some ppl do find automatic music playing on a site as kinda annoying... anyways, here's my attempt at linking u to DHT's "Someone", just click play, I hope u have the quicktime plug-in, most do =P


and while i'm at it, here's one of my fav's from Coldplay's new album, "Fix You"

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS
Read Comments

Comments

just a note, I know there's a bunch of deleted comments, but it's a filter system, and I've deleted anything that has a link in it from someone I do not recognize. Sorry about that, but I really don't want spam in the comments, I just opened it up so ppl who don't have blogger can still post a comment. Of course comments are greatly appreciated even from strangers, if you are a fellow blogger, leave ur username and I'll be sure to look you up, but links are no-no... and if u clicked on my ads, lemme kno, i'll look u up and click on urs, lol! anyways, thank you all for your understanding =)

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS
Read Comments

New Music, sorta...

So I finally got the DHT album (David dled for me, thanks babe) and although I found out they're a Euro dance band (yeah, i kno run away now =P) some of their songs are good... other than the well known "Listen to Your Heart", another couple songs stood out, Like "Someone".....

You can't eat, you can't sleep, you can weep
When you love someone

Feels extreme when you dream and you scream
When you love someone

If you feel that strong
Can you see that one

[Chorus]
Let me be your
Someone to hold you tight
Someone to make you feel alright
Everyday and night
I wish I was your someone
Someone to hold you when you're weak
Someone to make you feel complete
Everyday and night
I wish I was your someone

Don't you know I will go
If you show that I can break through

It feels extreme when you dream and you scream
When you love someone

If you feel that strong
Can you see you're the one

[Chorus]

And I hold you tight
Still on my mind
I can't stand to live without you
And I can't forget you
where ever you are
Still on my mind

[Chorus]

Someone to hold you tight
Someone to make you feel alright
Everday and night
I wish I was your someone

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS
Read Comments

Kiwi

Cindy is one of the silliest monkeys I kno... u gotta read her lastest post... check it out
I like kiwi's too, but these are incredile! =P

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS
Read Comments

Starving student

So you may have noticed the new google ad up above... I'm not tryin to sell out, but as a student, funds are running low... so if u can help out a starving college student, please click on the ad, u can close it rite afterwards if u want,... but yeah, help feed me LOL! well, more for loans and bills, etc. anyways, if you have the time =P just a thought...

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS
Read Comments

Nauseous

Ever have that gross feeling from the bottom of your heart to the knots in your stomach that make you think... something just aint rite? But you can't figure out wat it is, but you know somethings wrong...
How much longer do I have to endure this... it's been too long... I just want to be free... when will this be over... Why am I not through with this? Why can't I just give up? I'm soooo tired of this! I don't kno how much more of this I can take....
How do you know if the fight's worth fighting for? I don't know if anything's worth anything anymore... *sigh* but I have to be strong... already gotten this far rite?
I hate being married to school....

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS
Read Comments

frickin blogger

So I had poured my heart out in one of the longest entries i've ever done, thought-provoking, retrospective, insightful... and when I clicked on "publish post", blogger goes down for maintenance... nothing I could do would bring it back, yes I tried going back, and forward and back again, but no, it was gone... bullet to the heart I tell ya, bullet to the heart...

So now blogger's back up and working again, and there's no way I could possibly reproduce the epiphany I had before, so... in bits and pieces that I can remember...
1.) Ultimately, the decisions you make not only affect yourself, but everyone one of those around you.
2.) Life is at least 75% struggle, and most people would be lucky to say that they are even happy ~25% of the time.
3.) The obstacles you overcome will make you that much more experienced and stronger.
4.) Corny as it sounds, soul-searching isn't for dummies. Take a moment to look at what things really mean to you, or you'll lose sight of people who are important to you... which leads to...
5.) It is vital to remember what you had to start with, those who were there at the very beginning, and those that stayed til the very end.

That's all I could revive from my random thoughts earlier...

On to a brighter side, a few highlights from this week...
I got to be an extra in a upcoming Will Smith movie, called The Pursuit of Happiness. Aside from being 2 feet away from Will on a bus scene =D I also got seranaded by a guy who happen to have his guitar with him on the set. Since I was too scared to actually talk to Mr. Smith, having a song sung to you with the strummings of a guitar by a random stranger can really make ur day...
During lab today, I was complaining to my classmates that we were missing the season premiere of Smallville at that very moment... the girl sitting across from me confirmed my disappointment, then said that I look a bit like Kristen Kruek! I was a bit startled and made sure I heard correctly. Indeed I did, and I told her that was very flattering... esp. since someone said a long time ago that I looked nothing like her... but anyways, it was a sweet thing for her to say...
I have begun to count on the kindness of strangers during hard times... it reaffirms my theory that you should smile at everyone you meet, or even walk by, because your kindness could make that person's day...

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS
Read Comments

Changes

Alrite, so as you can see, I changed the template, but most things remain the same. I just wanted to get a comments part functional, cuz the old template just wouldn't carry out comments. Also, I dunno how many ppl actually read me anyways, so I figured, maybe having a comments link under each post will be more inviting than a tag board, which I don't want to fuss with puttin up here rite now. So bear with the changes as I tweak this template a bit, yes i kno, the random number game is still in halloween colors... like i said, bear with me =P

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS
Read Comments

more Heavy Rotation

"Listen To Your Heart"
by DHT

I know there's something in the wake of your smile.
I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yea.
You've built a love but that love falls apart.
Your little piece of heaven turns too dark.

Listen to your heart
when he's calling for you.
Listen to your heart
there's nothing else you can do.
I don't know where you're going
and I don't know why,
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye.

Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile.
The precious moments are all lost in the tide, yea.
They're swept away and nothing is what is seems,
the feeling of belonging to your dreams.

Listen to your heart
when he's calling for you.
Listen to your heart
there's nothing else you can do.
I don't know where you're going
and I don't know why,
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye.

And there are voices
that want to be heard.
So much to mention
but you can't find the words.
The scent of magic,
the beauty that's been
when love was wilder than the wind.

Listen to your heart
when he's calling for you.
Listen to your heart
there's nothing else you can do.
I don't know where you're going
and I don't know why,
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye.

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS
Read Comments

Heavy Rotation

"These Words"
by Natasha Bedingfield

These words are my own
Threw some chords together
The combination D-E-F
Is who I am, is what I do
And I was gonna lay it down for you
Try to focus my attention
But I feel so A-D-D
I need some help, some inspiration
(But it's not coming easily)
Whoah oh...

Trying to find the magic
Trying to write a classic
Don't you know, don't you know, don't you know?
Waste-bin full of paper
Clever rhymes, see you later

These words are my own
From my heart flow
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you
There's no other way
To better say
I love you, I love you...

Read some Byron, Shelly and Keats
Recited it over a Hip-Hop beat
I'm having trouble saying what I mean
With dead poets and drum machines
I know I had some studio time booked
But I couldn't find a killer hook
Now you've gone and raised the bar right up
Nothing I write is ever good enough

These words are my own
From my heart flow
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you
There's no other way
To better say
I love you, I love you...
I'm getting off my stage
The curtains pull away
No hyperbole to hide behind
My naked soul exposes
Whoah.. oh.. oh.. oh.. Whoah.. oh..

Trying to find the magic
Trying to write a classic
Waste-bin full of paper
Clever rhymes, see you later
These words are my own
From my heart flow
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you
That's all I got to say,
Can't think of a better way,
And that's all I've got to say,
I love you, is that okay?

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS
Read Comments

10:00am

After over a week of sickness, a costly vet visit and sleepless worrisome nights, Juilet passed away this morning, lying next to me as I tried to keep her warm... I had optimistically hoped that she would fight it and stay with me, and I think she tried as much as she could... but I guess she was just too sick... I feel like I worked so hard to keep her here, but in the end she just couldn't hold on... I'm sorry Juliet, I hope you are in peace...

....................................


Obituaries



Sept. 17, 2005: Juliet passed away of prolonged wet tail and possible kidney failure at 10:00 in the morning. Juliet, a white and light orange Syrian hamster, was 1 year and 3 months of age. She traveled a bit from San Francisco to Santa Cruz then back with her college student chauffeur, Sophia. Her most recent residence was in Mountain View, Ca. with her chauffeur and her enthusiastic co-inhabitant, David. Although she did not like car trips much, she did enjoyed exploring new surroundings. Her favorite past times included running in her large revolution wheel/home extension, perfecting her skills as an escape artist, racing her chauffeur down hallways, and nice long naps in between. She is remembered as a playful yet sleepy hamster, but very gentle and sweet by her co-occupants and all who knew her. She will be missed dearly and indefinitely. May her spirit be in peace.

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS
Read Comments


Me after i walked across the stage and got the "fake diploma" =P Posted by Picasa

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS
Read Comments

Realization

While searching for employment, pondering my future and trying to finalize a goal... I realize I'm totally lost... yes, I walked this past June, but no, I'm not done yet, and I much as I want to finish by the end of this year, I'm not sure I will... hope/wish/pray that I can get into this ONE class, just this one class... =/ and as I read my friend's xanga, I realize, people's heart's get broken everyday, not just through relationships, but through broken dreams and failure, lost hope and faith, just through life in general... yet we still live each day, hoping, wishing, praying, for love, our dreams, success, our goals... maybe I'm just rambling, or maybe I'm just realizing something... now if I could only figure out wat....

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS
Read Comments


David and I at graduation, yes, blurry i kno, u can blame Linda, =P  Posted by Picasa

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS
Read Comments

holy crap!

it's been forever! i'm sure i lost wat audience i had lingering around.. well, guess i'm talking to myself rite now =P hopefully someone will come back and read me =/
anyways, I've finally got to work on a new project, it's almost done, but to give u an idea of wat it looks like, check out Margaret Nicole
aren't those bags cute? well yeah, i'm tryin to make something like them =)
pics to follow...

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS
Read Comments

Spring Break...

this year's spring break is probably one of the shortest we've had in ages... it's already half way over and I haven't done much of anything productive.... so much for spewing out a few projects before I get back to school... speaking of which, graduation stuff came in the mail yesterday and jeeeebus are things expensive! So our grad for Oakes is gonna be on Sat. June 11th at 6pm, yes i kno, late but Oakes graduation has the nicest view of the sunset =P I just wish I would be done when i walk... but looks like i'll have to take summer school b4 i'm done... *sigh* i'm such a slacker, i kno, but i try tho, i really do... just ask David... well, maybe not, he'd just tell u how lazy i am, lol! =P but yeah, not much going on these days, yet this break seems to fly rite by... oh! took Erica and her friend Emily to watch Robots yesterday, it's pretty funny! Robin Williams' still got it!
okie dokie, until next time cuz i'm gettin hungry =P

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS
Read Comments

Parade anyone?

So Cindy gotta call from Chung Ngai (our old dance troupe place) and they ask her if she could help wit the Chinese New Year's parade, she agrees, and drags me along wit her... I figured it shouldn't be too bad, we're usually on a float... well we go to the pratice this past Sun. and find, not only are we NOT gonna be on a float.. but we're doin a dance... SERIOUSLY, the things I get myself into! So ladies and gentlemen, if u wanna good laugh, cuz apparently David thinks the dance is hilarious, check out the parade this coming Sat. the 19th, it starts at 5:30pm i think, we'll be about the first performance, something about monkey's fighting chickens... yeah... look in the background for some girls in pink costumes dancing around wit a fan and a handkerchief...

On another note, Carbon's throwin a party that same night, so if you're goin down to see the parade, stay around and party at Sake Lab afterwards! Go Here and sign up for the guestlist!

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS
Read Comments

it's time again...

Time to update this baby that is... I know, it's been hella long since i've posted anything... school's been a pain, and i just got over the first wave of midterms.... *whew*
So,... oh! everyone should go watch Hitch when it comes out Feb. 11th, it's hella funny! and like David said, Will Smith is sexy... especially in this movie! lol! Guys could sure pick up a few tricks from this flick...
as for projects, i'm still workin on this tube scarf thingie... it's coming along nicely, should be done soon so hopefully u can be expectin pics of it in a bit...
that's about it for now, i'm too lazy to post more, lol! pics will come soon, so please hold ur horses...

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS
Read Comments

More Randomness


I've been kinda at a loss for words lately... so figured i'd just start postin up random pics.. Startin wit this one, cuz I told him i would, hahahahah! This is Benny, Cindy's bf btw, so Cindy was over my house (in sf, like my messy ass room? that's just 1/4 of it) and we were just chattin in my room, Benny came over too, and got bored as us girls were talking... so he decided to amuse himself with watever he could find in my room... and thus, once he was finished "collecting", I had to grab my camera to get a pic, cuz Cindy kept squealin for me to, lol! So, here he is, with my famous kitty hat on, my messager bag, some scarf he found (i dun even think it's mine...) my hot pink studded belt, and huggin the spongebob pillow that erica dumped in my room... Hope this makes someone's nite, I kno it made ours ^_^ Posted by Hello

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS
Read Comments

Reality Check

So school's officially begun... again... I've just been off avoiding it... just the whole subject of school can be really depressing... man!
ok ok, so I gotta face reality some time rite?
okie, so 8am class 2moro, yet i'm still up, i kno, me and 8am classes just don't sound rite, but when it's bio classes, u don't really get a choice... but anyways, just thought i'd update for once since it's been awhile, gotta keep wat little audience I have entertained =P
so yeah, it seems to be raining less back in SC... seems to be anyways.. only been back for a day, lol! it's super scary to drive down 17 while it's raining... u should try it some time! hahahaha =P
anyways, i should knock out now, goodnite world!

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS
Read Comments